WHY THE STATUS QUO IS JUST FINE

He hears objections,

But they all come from women.

La la la la la.

AFTERMATH

(artist's rendering)

More wine here now than

We started the party with.

Officially old.

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE?

I was promised sun

But it is so not sunny

This is an outrage

NATIONAL WINDBAG CONSENSUS

Partisan gridlock.

Who knew? Both sides are to blame!

Time to compromise!

MITTENJUICE

Mix crocodile tears

With 47%

Fresh-squeezed middle class

HELPINESS

Unwanted keyboard

Clicks per minute: the record

Is held by my cat

LIFE GOES ON

$7?

No one has yet called

From Publishers Clearing House

Better get to work

WHY BOTHER

Slimy sidewalk plus

Hose equals the expected

Wet slimy sidewalk