POST-FEAST REGRET

From now on I swear

I'll eat no desserts, just kale

And rutabagas

BIOHAZARD

Is there a vaccine

That will protect us against

Jenny McCarthy?

OCTOBER SURPRISE

You'd think the city

Would stink less now that it's fall,

But you would be wrong.

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

O blithe jaywalker

So nearly clipped by my bike:

Let us share the blame.

ORGANIC GARDENING

The very hungry

Caterpillar eats green leaves

Until I squish it

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OF THE DAY

If tomorrow I

Should suddenly be no more,

Whither Instagram?

HUBRIS (ON HAVING A HAIKU IN THE NEW YORK TIMES)

Like bread, my haiku

Will rise, will be a Wonder,

Will be full of carbs

A WHIFF OF NOSTALGIA

Times Square, how you've changed

But the lingering pee smell

Brings back the old days

FOOD ALLERGIES

Lobster, seaside food,

And any kind of pot pie

Make me go CRAZY

TO THE HOOSIERS (MUSINGS ON A VISIT TO THE INDIANA STATE MUSEUM)

This prehistoric

Squid guy should totally be

Your state animal

MY SYMPATHY GOES ONLY SO FAR

Mouth uncovered, you

Cough and cough and cough. Get well.

But get off my train.

FEBRUARY

Snow, sleet, wintry mix,

A light bout of blizzarding,

Then more fucking snow.

THE VISION OF PIERS PLOWMAN

Soft was the sun in

The summer season. But snow

I shall now shovel.



 

JANUARY 1, 2014

Stars in the daytime,

Thanks to sun and disco ball.

Off to a good start!