HIGH HOPES FOR 2013

A shiny new year

Untarnished, full of promise

Like gold lamé pants

GO TELL IT ON THE MAYANS

Your new calendar

Should maybe have some pictures

Of fuzzy kittens

COMPLETE CHEER FAILURE

Gloomy December

How I want to tell winter

To go fuck itself

THE SOUND OF ONE CAT NAPPING

"Invalid entry"

The beeping keyboard cries out

Unmoved, the cat sleeps

KIDS TODAY

All you kids with your

Wild hair, music, and whatnot.

Not like in my day.

INSTANT DISLIKE ON THE AIRPLANE

Guy blocks aisle to stow

Way too many carry-ons.

Looks like John Bolton.

UNREQUITED

Perhaps the sports team

From your area is just

Not that into you