POWER OUTAGE, DAY 2

Bye-bye Internets

Hello, odd canned food items

From cupboard corners

LIKE, A HURRICANE

My kid won't notice

That the sky's falling until

The Internet goes

POSITIVE THINKING

[Facsimile of neighbor]

Hurricane's coming--

Swirl and blow, you autumn leaves,

To my neighbor's yard

MODERN TIMES

NOM NOM NOM

The Diet of Worms

Luckily, Lutherans now

Can haz cheezburger

CIRCLING THE DRAIN

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your

Car engine. Also, it's time

To call the plumber.

DEBATE-O-RAMA

Arms in the wrong hands!

And what's on the end of them?

They look like... mittens.

MIDDLE-CLASS HELPER

Modest proposals

For helping the less well-off

All sound delicious

MITT LIKE ME

Just folks.

Good news, middle class!

Income on capital gains

Could be tax-free soon!

POST-DEBATE SUSPENSE

Gosh I hope someone

Pompous and self-important

Can tell me who won

SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT

If you preface your

Insult with “No offense, but..."

Then they can't get mad

THE PRODUCERS, PART 2

Let's have an Ayn Rand

Halloween! You be Atlas,

And I'll wear a shrug.

BUT NOT SLAVERY

On the highway to Hojo's.

Wow, Leviticus

Sure forbids some random things.

Heed at your peril.

NOT I

I can tell my flip

Phone impresses all the folks

At the Apple store

MITTENJUICE

Mix crocodile tears

With 47%

Fresh-squeezed middle class

CHRISTMAS IS COMING

[thx to cynical-c.com for sharing]

What crap did I buy

To get on your mailing list

Jesus shoot me now